This feeling reminded me of a poem I came across a few years ago:
I'm going to take a short break from my Coastal California travel posts today because I feel like I can finally share my story. But where do I even begin?
Everyday, I felt like I had been treading the ocean waves for hours on end and was about to drown. But somehow, I was washed up on shore, only to be dragged back into the ocean again to start the same cycle the next morning. I felt like I had to keep a facade that everything was fine, in part to avoid others from worrying about me, but also for my own sake to not wallow in self-pity. Of course, holding things in can actually make things worse. As soon as I got home, I would head straight to our bedroom and sleep, skipping dinner. I was unable to focus on what people were saying to me, and had difficulty waking up in the mornings although I slept for well over 10 hours straight some nights. During the weekends and weeknights, I turned away invitations to see my friends or family because even the thought of getting out of bed gave me panic attacks. Listening to music had always been a treat for me, yet during this time I preferred absolute silence. I didn't want to and did not have the energy to watch TV, read books, go shopping, or cook. The only person I was able to be 100% honest about my condition was my husband, although I felt incredibly disappointed in myself that I was causing him to worry about me.
If you or anyone you know may be showing signs of depression and/or anxiety, I urge you to not be dismissive. Society has taught us that it's taboo to speak about mental illnesses, but I think it's a really important discussion to have. There are ways to get the help you need. Self love is love.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi there! My husband and I are newlyweds ♥ We adopted our beagle, Louie, in 2011. This blog allows me to chronicle our lives together as a family. Thank you for stopping by! WWW.KIDGRANNY.BLOGSPOT.COM