When friends become strangers

Last night, my husband and I had the opportunity to watch a Clipper's game {someone from his work gave us the tickets}, so we said "Why not?" and headed out to downtown L.A. after work. Although I am not a big sports fan, we ended up having a lot of fun watching the game! I know you're supposed to root for the home team, but I just felt awful about the rookie from the opposing team that airballed two straight free throws.



This is kind of unrelated, but lately I've been having dreams about people from the past that I haven't thought about in years. People that I used to be close with over 10 years ago, but haven't contacted since then. Essentially, people who were my very close friends but have since become strangers. 

I googled "friends become strangers" and the top search result hit a home run for me. It's a quote from Hayley Williams, the singer from Paramore: 

"Sometimes friends become enemies, but what's worse is when they become strangers."

After these dreams, I wake up with a mixed bag of emotions -- a sprinkle of "Hm, that was an odd dream," a dash of  "I wonder what they're up to now...," and a hint of utter sadness and disappointment that both parties didn't put much effort to keep in touch. 



Isn't it weird how the subconscious mind works? 99.9% of the time, nothing makes me happier than to be surrounded by my small circle of tight-knit friends, my husband, family, and Louie. What more can I ask for than to be loved by the people I love? I am very fortunate to have such good people in my life. I am there for them, and they are here for me. Doing the most mundane things together with them is a fun experience, and doing impromptu things like going to a Clipper's game on a Wednesday night with my husband turns into an adventure. Most of the time, they're all I think and care about because we constantly communicate with one another, whether it be via text, calls, or in person.

But that 00.1% of the time, something triggers my mind to remember individuals like the ones that have been recurring characters in my dreams lately and think about how unfortunate it is that we as humans put so much time and effort to build relationships with certain people; yet after some time, both or one of the parties begin to experience change and the relationship you once had just evaporates. It's usually a gradual thing -- like, one of you starts noticing that you two no longer share the same values or interests that you once did. You try to look past the differences, but you can't help but want to be with the person that they once were instead. You don't enjoy being with this "new" person they've become {or vice versa}.

So naturally the frequent meetups begin to dwindle, you both find other people that are more in line with your aspirations and interests, and in a blink of an eye you're no longer speaking to one another. Not even a simple "How are you?" More time passes, and they've become a ghost of your past. People change, friends sometimes become strangers, but the memories will remain.



Upon a further google search, I came across this eloquently written piece about my current state of mind. Though I am not able to write down my thoughts as beautifully as the author, my sentiments are the same: "The hope is that we grow with our friends, but more often than not we grow apart. We grow into strangers...We were strangers once before and built a friendship. We are now strangers again. Do we try again?"

Something to think about.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hi there! My husband and I are newlyweds ♥ We adopted our beagle, Louie, in 2011. This blog allows me to chronicle our lives together as a family. Thank you for stopping by! WWW.KIDGRANNY.BLOGSPOT.COM

11 comments :

  1. It's so weird... it's like you read my mind! haha I'm kinda of going through this now! Since we moved to NC a few years ago, 2 of my really best/close friendships have suffered! Time/distance/etc. has taken its toll.... and I definitely feel that they're turning into strangers now! Makes me sad! :(

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    1. :( I know, it makes me sad too! Do you think you will try to reach out to them?

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    2. Oh yes.... I've reached out a few times and she as too. But we just seem to be drifting apart. Guess that's life! haha

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  2. deep thoughts about the relationships we make. i unfortunately don't think i have ever wondered... unless it was someone from long long long time ago.. like the girl i used to be close friends with in korea. i wonder what has happened to her. but others in my life, we have parted for various reasons but mostly because of bad fall outs. but perhaps i began to not wonder anymore after i tried to reach out to a friend after many years of not talking and she blew me away and it hurt. i guess i don't do well with rejection and so i don't put myself in a lot of situations where i may be rejected. ah. such deep thoughts! :)

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    1. I know, rejections are the worst. I agree -- if there was a bad fall out then I don't think I would wonder about their current whereabouts either! From what I can remember, I was on good terms with these people {they may not think the same from their side}, but it was the change (distance/interests/other people they or I started surrounding ourselves with more frequently) that has turned us from friends to strangers. But yes, I have also reached out to certain people in the past and usually the relationship is not the same as it once was.

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  3. Mhmm I can relate to this topic. For example: after graduating,
    this bond I had with a few close classmates suddenly ain't
    so closed no more. We finished school and that seems to be
    the only thing that connected our relationships. But still 'like'
    each others on FB and what not :P but yeah.
    I think it's the quality of friendship that matters and not the
    quantity c: Xx

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    1. That is true -- I agree in quality over quantity for most things in life!

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  4. "friends sometimes become strangers, but the memories will remain." - Love that. I think it's inevitable that friends drift apart but I don't feel saddened by it. Just grateful for the memories I guess. But isn't it just so strange when they suddenly appear in your dreams - wonder what the subconscious is up to?!

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    1. Yes! The subconscious mind always amazes me.

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  5. I dream about people that are no longer in my life absolutely constantly and it's definitely a strange thing, especially when it's someone you haven't actively thought about for years. Our subconscious is such an enigma.

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